Are we in a gay sports bar?
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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