If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Randomize
