I think I can smell my own vagina right now
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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