I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
sarcasm needs its own font
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
