I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
