I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
