Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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