I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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