Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
