1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
