Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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