You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize