would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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