We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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