How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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