When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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