Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry tbritt hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(704): View more from North Carolina

When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell

Fav 9 3611 954
share tweet
(949): View more from California

if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics

Fav 14 1394 2029
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(970): View more from Colorado

Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.

Fav 12 7403 1714
share tweet
(708): View more from Illinois

We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.

Fav 16 4894 1189
share tweet
(410): View more from Maryland

Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong

Fav 2 982 520
share tweet
(818): View more from California

We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.

(619): View more from California

I will find you...

Fav 17 2859 987
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(240): View more from Maryland

She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths

Fav 2 1036 492
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(517): View more from Michigan

Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.

Fav 3 97 14
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(614): View more from Ohio

what are you getting to drink for new years?

(1-614): View more from Ohio

well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice

Fav 0 15 39
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT