i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
