What did I eat last night that was bloody?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
