i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize