I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
