my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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