i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Im part way to drunk.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
