i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
