When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
