Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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