A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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