Christians are straight up FREAKS
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
