Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
