Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize