is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
