she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize