The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
