Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
