He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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