So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
