Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize