Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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