Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
