I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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