i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
did i just pee glitter
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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