5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
How does one acquire holy water?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
