the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You may now shotgun with the bride
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
