I think I just saw someone hide a body.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize