If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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