Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
