windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
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