he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
