i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
