i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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