Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
