I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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