Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
