We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
i believe in u and ur pee
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
