One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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