If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
