Porn is love you can see.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
