you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize