ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I am never drinking with the goths again.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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