Sry I called you an 8
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
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