found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
