I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
