Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize