Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
