But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
